


Beyond What We Can See

by AphroditesTummyRolls



Series: We Stan a Healthy Family Dynamic (The Kes-verse) [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Codependency, Finn is a bit of an anxious babe, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Sensitivity, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Gen, M/M, Stormtrooper Culture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:40:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22291981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AphroditesTummyRolls/pseuds/AphroditesTummyRolls
Summary: Sequel to Love Will Help You HealShortly following the events of Love Will Help You Heal, Finn and Poe are living in a strange kind of bliss. While it remains unspoken, they both know that there's something more to it than a "Honeymoon Phase"-- being apart feels like resisting a magnet, sleeping apart is next to impossible.Finally, something needs to be said, both of them needing answers after Poe is sent on his first mission after Starkiller. Leia and Kes are watching closely as Finn starts acting stranger and stranger, grappling with The Force in a way he hadn't known could exist.
Relationships: Finn & Leia Organa, Kes Dameron & Finn, Kes Dameron & Poe Dameron, Poe Dameron & Leia Organa, Poe Dameron/Finn
Series: We Stan a Healthy Family Dynamic (The Kes-verse) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1598431
Comments: 48
Kudos: 183





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Alright babies, let's talk about Finn and let's talk about Force Bonds. 
> 
> I love Finn. I also find it very difficult to write from his perspective-- his character strikes such a delicate balance between confident and rebellious and brave, and anxious and second-guessing. He reminds me of a veteran, but he also reminds me of an adult who was raised in a cult. He has a lot of things to un-learn that were drilled into him from his childhood in the First Order. There's a lot of fear in Finn in this fic. Fear of his newfound abilities, the internal conflict between knowing he's safe in the Resistance, and remembering how he had to keep his head down in The First Order. I don't fully explain his backstory, because it'll be explored throughout several stories in this series. So, don't worry-- you might have questions at the end of this story, but they will be addressed! 
> 
> Annnnnnnd Force Bonds. Everything I know about Force-Bonds is from Wookiepedia and the Expanded Universe lore that I've picked up along the way. I never saw anything saying that would directly conflict with the narrative I've created, and it will be fully explained by the end of the fic. 
> 
> ***Just as a side note, I do deviate and make changes wherever it suits me and my story. I don't make any huge, fundamental changes, though. I just fill in blanks in the canon where it works. If you see that a character's age is a little different, or that a character's/planet's backstory is changed, don't worry. I did it intentionally. <3 
> 
> As always, comment if you like it! I love hearing from you all so much :)
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything in this Star Wars sandbox! None of these characters are my creative property. Disney and Lucasfilm are the owners of this universe, and I am simply writing for my own enjoyment. I DO NOT MAKE ANY MONEY OFF OF MY WRITING.

If he was being honest with himself, he supposed that he’d been feeling the Force his whole life. He’d always just brushed it off as basic intuition— he thought everybody felt this way. It wasn’t until he started seeing the way the Force was treated in the First Order—as a myth, a fearful, distant thing—that he realized how much he needed to keep his head down. Even though he only felt it in small ways, he was _different_. He buried the feelings, tried to ignore the nagging dread that said that he didn’t _belong_ there in his platoon. That _none_ _of_ _them_ did.

But that wasn’t something he was allowed to feel. The Force wasn’t supposed to be something any of the troops knew firsthand.

Those pressing feelings he’d felt on his first mission, looking out at the civilians they’d rounded up on Jakku, deciding not to shoot, why he was so resistant to reeducation— there was a _reason_ behind those things. It was all _him_ , they were his _choices_ , but… The Force had been there, too. It had been with him in his mind and all around him, telling him that The First Order was _wrong_ for as long as he could remember. 

It had never felt quite like _this_ before, though. Not until Poe, and the medbay, and the nightmare in Private Room 12--

For the first time in his memory, the Force was tugging his toward something, not shooting alarm bells up his spine and telling him to run.

The feeling never seemed to leave him. There was a familiar tugging sensation under his breastbone, a constant magnetic pull that practically begged Finn to head down the corridor and find Poe.

As if they hadn’t _just_ seen each other a few short hours before.

That morning, Poe had been discharged under the express orders of Dr. Kalonia that he “Get some actual sleep, and for Star’s Sake, eat something. A strong wind could blow you right over.”

Finn had chuckled at the indignant look on his friend’s face. Dr. Kalonia glared, but her lips were quirked ever-so-slightly, and Finn knew it was a bluff when she threatened to “Keep you right here till you hit a respectable weight and slept for another two days.”

She cackled when Poe immediately launched into protests, “Relax, Dameron. You think I could put up with you for that long? Lieutenant—make sure this idiot takes care of himself and I’ll sign off to get him back in the air.”

With that she dismissed them, and sent Finn a sidelong glance that had a distinctly conspiratorial streak in it. It still made his cheeks heat up just thinking about it.

They had gone through the entire day practically glued to each other’s sides. During meetings, drills, meals-- Poe’s hand had been a steady presence, warm and solid in Finn’s. It set something indescribable to rights inside him, and Finn just let it all happen, entirely unwilling to break this tenuous, beautiful _something_ between them. He didn’t ask questions, and he _definitely_ didn’t try to push him away when Poe continued to entwine their fingers as they walked down the corridor.

It felt _right_.

The problem was that nothing _else_ felt right—it hadn’t been like that before. They had been close since they met, but not like _this_. It was like a magnetic field kept Finn in a spell, calling him back whenever he was too far from Poe.

But Finn was in his own quarters now, wearing a hole in his rug with his pacing feet because the Force had made itself into a never-ending itch under his skin, a tug in his chest. He was restless, trying to sleep alone after being so at ease by Poe’s side in the medbay cot, and walking around all day—

 _Kriff_. He tried to resist the urge. He really did.

He lasted all of an hour before the loneliness was just too much, feeling like a rudderless boat as he floated his way through the halls to Poe’s quarters. Absently, he recited what he’d say to get himself in the door. After all, they didn’t quite know what _they_ were—it wasn’t as if they had talked about their explicit terms, but after all that had happened in the medbay… This was okay, right?

“… Hey, um—Hey Poe! I hope this isn’t… no, _no_ that’s not right…” he cleared his throat “Good evening—oh _Kriff_ , no.”

Just that morning, Poe had let him keep his hand on him as he got out of the medbay, out of their tiny shared cot and their four white walls. Poe had barely even rolled his eyes at Finn when he had nagged him about remembering to take a water break, and he even let him lead their way to the mess hall at the end of the day.

This was okay, right? They were at this point?

He was too embarrassed to ask. It wasn’t as if this was common in the First Order—they encouraged a certain level of attachment, yeah, but the second it was too distracting, or became more important than their ranks, it was snuffed out. Finn had had comrades—friends, even—but to be enamored like this? To move beyond the realm of his orders and into a free world of instinct and affection and _love?_ Where not only was the Force more than the myth they’d been told it was, but Finn could openly _feel_ it and _use_ it?

He scrubbed a hand across his eyes, trying to shake off the fear that something terrible would happen if he and Poe got too close. The fear of reeducation. His stomach tied itself in knots, thinking about what Phasma used to do to the troopers who got too close to each other.

He was _free_ now.

He shook his head against the memories… the Resistance wasn’t _like_ _that_ —they weren’t going to hurt him for caring, and Poe certainly wouldn’t. If anything, Poe was reaching out every time Finn pulled back, trying to get him closer.

 _Poe wants me, Poe won’t push me away, Poe kissed me…._ Finn repeatedly thought, focusing on breathing.

It sent an expansive type of feeling through his chest, making him a little giddy as he walked despite the clawing anxiety in his chest.

He could still feel the phantom pressure of his lips on his, and he couldn’t lay in his bed without remembering the feeling of Poe’s head on his chest. The tug on his heart pulled Finn along on his way through the halls, barely in control of himself.

He kept his gaze on his feet, nearly at his destination, with his heart lodged so firmly in his throat that he might not be able to get a word out at all.

Knocking on the door felt like an impossible task. He still had no clue what to _say,_ and—

He didn’t end up having to knock at all, because the door flew open with a hiss that left him wide eyed and stuttering. Face-to-face with a pair of brown eyes and soft lips, Finn felt like there was a fist around his heart. Poe looked just as surprised to see Finn as Finn was to be caught out.

“Can’t sleep either?” he asked, no greeting necessary besides the slowly growing smile on his face.

Finn shook his head, letting out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding “Not for anything in the _galaxy_.”

“C’mere.” Poe took his hand, rolling his eyes with a distinct fondness that heated Finn’s cheeks.

The easy grin on his face gave a reminder he badly needed. All that had happened in the medbay had _really_ _happened_ , they weren’t going to just let it lie, Poe wasn’t going to be mad at him for needing this-- maybe _Poe_ needed it too. The tension unraveled inside his chest as he let his friend guide him into his quarters, leaving him warm and tingling out to the tips of his fingers and toes.

He felt more at ease than he had for a single second since they had parted earlier that day.

* * *

They spent two weeks sleeping soundly in Poe’s bed every night. The circles under his eyes had faded to nothing, his nightmares had become more manageable. He gripped Finn tightly in the night, and it felt like Finn spent the majority of his time with his arm slung across the other man’s hips, holding him flush to his chest.

He slept better than he felt like he ever had, wrapped around Poe’s sturdy frame with his nose buried in his curls. The channel that linked them never seemed to be closed, and it left Finn lost and unbalanced when Poe wasn’t close enough to touch.

He was at home in that bed unlike he had ever been before.

Deep down, though, they both knew something wasn’t quite _normal_. This wasn’t just the “ _Honeymoon_ _Phase”_ that Snap and Jess had been teasing them for, but Finn was too worried about breaking whatever magical spell this was to say anything about it.

And he wasn’t along in that. Poe felt the Force channel too, to some degree, at least. Finn _knew_ it—when he was too far away in the bed, the pilot would be unsettled in his sleep, whining and shifting. Once he even managed to have an entire nightmare, just because Finn got up to use the fresher.

They didn’t talk about what they were, or what they were feeling. It felt off limits, as if someone would swoop in and take them apart, or as if Poe would suddenly realize how needy and clingy Finn was. He had thought about comm-ing Rey, or talking to Leia, but… the idea of putting it all into words felt insurmountable.

It was another peaceful, dreamless night, when there was a knock on the door.

Still sleepy-eyed and slow, Finn turned to the clock, but all he really needed was to see the first rays of dawn outside the window to know it was too early for visitors. He grumbled, running a hand down his face as he carefully extricated himself from Poe, shushing away the other man’s small whimper before he shuffled his way over to the door.

“Hm?” he greeted, squinting against the unbearable brightness of the hall, cutting into their dark pocket of the world.

There was a beat of silence where Finn didn’t expect there to be one, a wash of embarrassment sweeping his breath away as his vision adjusted and a familiar, smirking face swam into view.

“Good morning, Finn.” Kes’s voice shook with laughter, and all Finn could think was _at least I’m wearing pants_ “My son in there?”

He was so taken aback that he almost said no, stumbling over a hundred different responses and explanations. Kes wasn’t even trying to hide his shoulders shaking, not a shred of anger in him as he chuckled at Finn’s wide-eyed face.

“ _Poe_ —” he finally called out, putting poor Finn out of his misery “Are you decent?”

There was a long silence where Finn thought the other man must have somehow still been asleep, before a voice grumbled “If I say no, will you go away?”

Kes just grinned from ear to ear, a full laugh ringing into the hallway at 0400, and it wasn’t technically that loud, but Finn and Poe both groaned at the volume anyway. “No can do, Kiddo. The General has a mission for you, needs to brief you before you fly out.”

If anything was going to get Poe out of bed, it was the promise of a mission.

Sure enough, there was the sound of tangled sheets being kicked away, and the telltale thud of Poe getting his foot caught in it and tipping out of bed.

Finn swallowed the creeping dread of being alone, his disappointment that things were changing—even though he _knew_ that they were going to change. This was still a _war_.

A gentle hand ran up the long, tender scar across Finn’s back, making him sigh, sleepy and content for that moment. Poe kissed his shoulder as he squeezed past him in the threshold, “Meet me in the hangar? Thirty minutes?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.” He replied.

He watched Poe’s back as his dad led him away, leaving Finn feeling queasy and weak in the knees. His scar tingled uncomfortably, and he pushed away the surge of anxiety that demanded he be by Poe's side. 

* * *

It was a heavy type of morning, the night’s dew evaporating into the blanket of humidity that already hung low over the jungle. The sun climbed higher and higher into the sky above Base, and the wing of Black One was a small solace against its heat. Finn’s heart fluttered when he caught a glimpse of Poe, back in his flight suit and jogging down the tarmac toward him.

There was a fire in his eyes again, the same type of grin that he’d had when he’d fueled up for the attack on Starkiller.

The link between them had been too tight when they were apart, only loosening as Poe got closer and closer, and Finn could breathe again when his grin was close enough to kiss. He wondered again, if Poe felt that stretch and pull with the same intensity he did, if he was _scared_ to be alone too.

Finn almost asked, but the words were stolen out of his mouth by Poe’s lips on his own.

It would be too much to say—it was needy, it was too fast. There was no real _reason_ to say it.

“What’re your orders?”

“It’s not dangerous.”

Finn raised an eyebrow “Okay, sounds like a lie, if it’s the first thing out of your mouth.”

“Yeah, I guess—but it’s really not! You just seem kinda… on edge. Or, maybe I am? I don’t know.” Poe took his hand and Finn could see Kes in the corner of his eye, but Poe was searching his gaze and Finn wasn’t about to look away from that “It’s just recon— making sure an abandoned base is really abandoned.”

“Where?”

“Salt planet called Crait. Apparently, it’s our next stop, if our cover here gets blown.” He smiled, still holding both of Finn’s hands in his like he’d forgotten that he should let go “I won’t be gone long, okay? Don’t miss me too much.”

Finn didn’t know what to say to that without choking on a lie, so he laughed instead.

Losing the heat of his hand in his felt out of place, and Finn found that he didn’t know what to do with them, fidgeting uselessly while Poe hugged his dad.

“You sure you’re up to this?” he heard, whispered, and part of Finn wanted him to say no.

“ _Dad_ —the war’s not gonna win itself.” Poe smiled reassuringly “I’ll be back in a couple days.”

Finn liked Kes. He especially liked him when his careful gaze was studying his son for evidence of a lie. Somehow, though, Finn knew that Poe really _meant_ it.

It was reassuring in a way that reality hardly ever was.

Those warm brown eyes turned back to Finn, and he was rooted to the spot, only able to reach out and guide the other man close one more time before he had to go.

Finn poured all the tenderness and care that he could muster into that last kiss, trying to get himself by on that alone until the next time he saw him. Poe grinned, murmured “I’ll see you soon.” against his lips before he finally boarded his X Wing.

Poe was gone in just a few moments, and it felt like there was a rubberband locked onto Finn’s heartstrings, pulling tighter and tighter the further Poe went.

He stood like that, looking up at the sky for a while after Black One had exited atmo, until the clap of a hand on his shoulder pulled him back down to the planet.

Kes had the kind of look on his face that Finn had only ever imagined could come from a _dad_. The kind of sympathy, reassurance, and wisdom that he hadn’t known until so recently.

The older man smiled “Come have a drink or something, Kid. I know a thing or two about watching your pilot fly away.”

It made things a little better.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Friends! :) 
> 
> Thank you for the wonderful comments and encouragement! I feel much better about my characterization of Finn than I did before, and that's thanks to your inspiration <3 
> 
> As always, please comment and tell me if you like it and want more! There's one last chapter coming up, and I think you all will really like it-- we're gonna have some answers about Force Bonds, a lot of family vibes, some sweet Kes and Finn moments, some badass Leia and Kes development, and a Finnpoe shower scene (no explicit smut, though... maybe another time)! YAY!
> 
> Enjoy <3

He tried to sleep in his own quarters again—that was his first mistake. Finn wasn’t exactly sure what his other mistakes were, but he was sure he’d made them.

The first night, that was what he figured the problem was—he couldn’t get comfortable because he wasn’t sleeping in his usual bed. It didn’t smell like Poe, the balance of weight and heat were all wrong, the mattress was too cold, too hard, too _empty_. Finn finally managed to sleep, curled around a pillow and steadfastly ignoring the tight pressure in his chest and the claustrophobic itch under his skin.

He managed.

That first morning, he heard Poe’s voice over the comm link in the command center and it sent a warm tingle through his chest that settled in his gut. He was fine. Everything was _fine_ , and somehow, Finn had already _known_ that he would be—he could _feel_ the truth in everything Poe said: Crait was all but uninhabited, the planet as well as the base; Black One was a mess from the salt flats and the whipping wind, but they’d be fine until they got back home; “ _it’s good to be back in the cockpit”_ , he said.

Finn chastised himself for worrying at all, letting out a long breath as he, Kes, and the General stood by the comm.

He clung to that feeling of warmth and security for the rest of the day, taking the bone deep certainty that _Poe was safe_ and _Poe would be home soon_ with him to every meeting, drill and conversation he had. And then, he tried to take the idea to bed with him, too, only for every trace to dissipate.

Finn did _not_ have a nightmare that night. _Really_ , he _didn’t_ , but he didn’t expect that anyone would believe him if he tried to say it out loud. He might not have had a nightmare, but that was only because he hadn’t even slept. He just couldn’t get comfortable.

It wasn’t a nightmare. It was a _feeling_.

Finn didn’t know if he could properly explain it if they asked—the tension of the Force around and inside him, the knot in his gut, the itch in his legs to kick out, get up and _move_. The bed was huge, and his skin was too tight, and it was _maddening_. He threw off his covers and paced his quarters, he did push-ups, he tried _anything_ to tire himself out.

He got back into bed at around 0300, closed his eyes to try again, and only ended up seized by a sudden _terror_ —inexplicable and jarring. The tears stung his eyes and were falling down his face before he could think for a second about why he was even crying.

Finn hadn’t cried a lot in his life—at least, not that he could remember. His memories of crying were as hazy and far away as his mother’s face. It wasn’t until Jakku, reeducation, and his defection that he could clearly connect to those types of extreme emotions again—the types of emotions like desperation, and _love_ , and that all-consuming fear that made him run from the Resistance at first. They were all still so fresh, unlike the few emotions allowed on The Finalizer, which were only permitted if they could be warped to suit whatever Phasma needed from them.

It hadn’t taken him long in the ranks to realize that strong emotions, or any weakness in The First Order made you a target. Phasma could smell it in the air, she’d twist it and manipulate it, or she’d send you to reeducation to obliterate it, further carving away whatever emotion had led to such a human reaction. Stormtroopers weren’t supposed to be _human_. They were supposed to be _weapons_ , a cog in the First Order's machine.

As he cried himself out that night, sitting on the edge of the bed in his quarters on D’Qar, Finn almost wanted to call it an act of rebellion. He wanted to frame it as something _good_ , turn off his years of training and let himself _be_ _human_. It was harder to do, though, when he couldn’t quite grasp any reasoning behind his tears, wondering what brought on such a fit, and found that he was too confused by it all to feel like he was anything but weak and helpless.

Despite his best efforts, Finn still felt pretty stupid when he walked into the command center on the second morning, only exacerbated by Kes’s double take at his weary face.

“You look like Hell, Lieutenant.” Leia observed wryly.

He shrugged. “Yeah, not all nights can be good nights.”

He was met with matching gazes, unamused.

“It’s okay—it’s nothing serious. When’s Poe comm-ing in?” he changed the subject, scrubbing a hand down his face and blinking hard.

Kes clapped a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, but he didn’t push the matter.

“Should be any minute now.” He smiled reassuringly.

The crackle of Poe’s voice over the comm smoothed out the erratic edges of Finn’s brain, and he dropped himself into the chair next to the speaker, just listening, too tired to speak that day. Kes’s hand stayed on his shoulder, and Leia’s eyes passed over him every once in a while, and Finn felt the steady loosening of the knot under his breastbone as the morning passed.

Poe was _safe_. He’d be _home_ _soon_. Then, they could figure this out.

That night, he was too tired to care if anyone saw him opening the door to Poe’s quarters instead of his own.

For the first few hours, it _did_ help. It was Poe’s messy clothes on the floor, the faint smell of engine grease and soap, his slight indentation still in the bed—they all set Finn’s feelings to rights, sending the tension out of his shoulders and making his eyelids droop. He dropped himself heavily onto the mattress, heaving out a long sigh as the magnetic tension in the Force eased inside and around him. Finn tugged Poe’s usual pillow against him, burying himself in the sense of peace as he finally closed his eyes.

He slept for a good while before the dream swam into his mind.

_Poe was sneaking along a dark cavern—the light was dim, his flashlight barely shining 10 feet in front of him, but Finn could see the shadows in the corners ahead._

_All was silent, except for the howling wind in the distance, outside on the salt flats of Crait. Poe’s curls were wild, frozen by the crystals._

_“Hello?” he called into the cave, his voice echoing off the stones._

_There was a crash and the sound of some type of creature chattering away._

_Finn’s heart was pounding, and he tried to call out, tried to run up to Poe, but his feet were rooted to the spot. He could only silently watch as Poe stalked forward—and something else stalked him back._

When he startled awake, bolting upright in bed, he could feel his frantic heart in every part of him, beating desperately in his chest.

He was already at the command center when Leia and Kes came in—the sun was probably up at that point, but Finn wouldn’t know. He’d been sitting right where he was for hours.

“So, explain to me why you can’t sleep.” The General greeted, a grim set to her mouth and her gaze going right through him in a way that Finn remembered Poe calling “ _Force User X Ray Vision_ ”.

“It was just a rough night—”

“I swear on the Force, Lieutenant, we just went through this with Poe. _Don’t_ minimize it.” Her voice brooked no argument, but she took his hand where it lay on the table and squeezed. 

He sighed “I think Poe’s in danger.”

“Well, he _is_ on a mission.” Leia replied, not unkindly, “But, you have a more specific reason.”

“I… It’s dumb.”

“No, it’s not. Trust your instincts, Son.” Kes’s face was lined with worry as he pulled up a chair beside him.

“Kes is right-- The Force is a powerful thing, don’t underestimate your abilities, Finn—what was it? A feeling? A _vision?”_ Leia’s gaze had softened, and Finn just sighed again, his eyes feeling dry and gritty with sleeplessness.

“It was a dream—but I have been… I’ve been feeling strange every night since he left.”

Leia closed her eyes and nodded, sage and wise, like she understood something he hadn’t realized he’d disclosed.

“I’m familiar with the sensation. It’s common in force-sensitive people like us… Let’s start with your vision. What did you see?”

He told them about the dream, from what little of the cave he could see to the jagged shadows and the animalistic noises at the edges of Poe’s flashlight. He knew it was on Crait, it _had_ to be Crait—the salt had crystalized in his hair, the wind was violent.

The creature had pounced just as Finn woke up.

Kes was stony-faced when Finn turned to glance between him and the General, and Leia had her hands steepled under her chin. Their gazes were unfocused, deep and pondering, and the ache of the tightly stretched band of energy in Finn’s chest was making him antsy.

“Well? What d’you want to do about it? Do these force visions always come true? I mean, he could be fine. Everything could be…”

“We should set up the comm link to check in.” Leia smiled, stress in the lines around her eyes “The only way we’ll find out is by asking Poe himself.”

Poe picked up almost immediately, and it seemed as if the whole room took a synchronized sigh of relief.

The mission had been smooth, but Black One was so encrusted with salt that the windows were all but useless— “ _I’m just doing my last bits of maintenance work, and I think I’m outta here_.”

“And you’re sure there’s nothing on that planet with you, Commander?” Leia questioned.

Finn could _feel_ the eye roll he knew Poe was secretly giving them all “ _General, I’ve swept the planet from the air three times—I’ve been through this damn base on foot three times. It’s a spooky old place, but whatever used to live in here is gone._ ”

“What do you mean?” Kes cut in.

“ _Well, the holes burrowing into the base floor by the back on the right side, heading into the mountains there—”_

“Poe!”

“ _Nothing lives there, Dad! The only other life forms on this whole planet are just Vulptices, and they’re outside. Not in the base_.”

The dread in Finn’s chest didn’t let up in any particular way, no matter how confident Poe’s voice was. Kes just scrubbed a hand down his face, resigned.

“Okay, okay—just get home safe.”

“ _Can’t do that without a window I can see out of_ ,” Poe’s chuckle crackled along the line “ _I should be on my way soon—I’ll comm in to let you know.”_

That was a small comfort, but a prickle of irritation that wasn’t his own lit up in his gut, taking Finn by surprise, when Kes finally nodded and asked his son, “How’re you holdin’ up?”

There was silence for a second or two “ _Good… I’m also as thoroughly salted as a dried meat ration, but everything else is great_.” Poe replied, but the lie sent another little tremor through Finn, like he was telling it himself.

Kes seemed to know, too “Yeah? How’ve you been sleeping?” and before Poe could think to lie again (and he was, Finn _knew_ it), Leia cut in.

“Consider that a fully authorized inquiry, Commander.”

Poe sighed “ _Last couple nights have been rough. Nightmares, but also… I just can’t get comfortable. I’ve never been claustrophobic before—not in a bunk or a cockpit or anything... I’m re-adjusting, I guess_.”

Leia only nodded in her secret, all-knowing way, sharing a meaningful silent conversation with Kes before glancing over at Finn with a look that made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. He cleared this throat and finally made a move closer to the comm speaker.

He was willing to bet that Poe had startled awake on the night before last, at about 0300. That he’d bawled his eyes out when he bolted upright in bed at the same time Finn had. It was just a hunch, just a feeling he had. The Force pulsed in his chest like an extra heart.

“Hey Poe.” Finn chimed in.

“ _Hi_ ” Poe said it on a sigh, and the familiar warmth tugged under Finn’s sternum like it always seemed to. This time, though, it flickered like a candle flame in his chest, burning brighter and brighter. He could remember his smell in his nose, and the mess in his quarters, and the feeling of his head on Finn’s chest, and the shout he let out when whatever that thing was attacked him in his vision-- “ _I’m just getting Black One ready to go, and then I’m coming back to you. Should be home by sundown.”_

The sensation vibrated in his chest, tugging him forward so hard that he actually felt the need to stand, to somehow get closer to the source of Poe’s voice. It was like when he’d first kissed Poe on the forehead and felt their energies collide. It was like a part of the Force.

“Okay.” He swallowed around his apprehension “Be careful, okay?”

“ _Yeah, always_.” There was a grin in his voice, but it must have faded fast, because he was deadly serious when he next spoke “ _Are you alright, Buddy?”_

“Yeah, why?”

“ _Just… I don’t know. You sound different—call it intuition, I guess_.”

If he mentioned the vision, would it throw him off his game? The words caught in his throat, but he didn’t get the chance to say anything anyway.

There was a distant clattering noise, and a familiar chatter that Finn remembered all too well.

“ _Hold that thought, actually_.” Poe hissed urgently, and a sick, flipping feeling rippled through the Force to Finn.

There was tense silence, nothing but the sound of the distant wind howling over the line, and Finn just _knew_ —

_“Hello?”_

He could see it all over again—the dark cavern, the jagged, writhing shadows, Poe creeping further into the depths, barely helped by his flashlight. Finn nearly swallowed his tongue to get the words out, managing to shout out just at the same time Poe cried out in surprise.

A sharp, driving pain dug into his side, shocking enough that he flinched and yelled, gripping the spot to check for damage.

“Poe? Poe!” Kes was calling down the line, his voice tight, while Leia rushed to Finn’s side.

The comm connection cut out with a pop and a fizzle.

The pain faded as Finn sucked in shuddering breaths, lifting the hem of his shirt to see the skin of his side—completely unmarked. Just like it had been before.

“Finn?”

“I’ll get Kalonia—”

“No!” he finally found enough of breath to say “No, I… I’m fine, I think.”

It didn’t take long for Finn to put two and two together, to finish connecting the things he thought he’d been alone in feeling for the past two weeks. How Poe leaving felt so difficult, Finn couldn’t sleep at night without him, how getting closer to where Poe had been—like his bed-- meant getting clearer messages.

“Leia, _why_ am I feeling Poe’s pain? Why can he tell how I’m feeling? I thought I was just missing him, I thought I… What’s going _on_?”

She shushed him, taking his hand again and squeezing.

“Before I tell you any of that, I need you to tell us if Poe’s alright. Okay?”

“I don’t know if—”

“Yes, you do.”

Kes was white as a ghost, his face was stark and unreadable. Finn swallowed—what if he was wrong? What if they should be sending a squadron out right that second to go help Poe fend off whatever the Hell those creatures were, and Finn told them the wrong thing, and then Poe died alone on some salt planet?

“What if I’m—”

Leia only shook her head, smiling reassuringly “Search your feelings, Finn.”

He cleared his throat, shoving away the anxiety that was clawing its way up through his gut to his windpipe. He nodded, closing his eyes and banishing all thoughts but _Poe_. He didn’t think, he _felt_.

The channel of connection between his heart and Poe’s felt as if it was stretched to its limits, but if anything, it was stronger than before. More potent. If he was dead or still in danger, Finn would feel it, wouldn’t he?

“He’s… He’s alive. I think he’s okay.” He blinked his eyes open to see Leia beaming at him, nodding. Kes deflated with the force of his sigh.

“The Force is stronger with you than previously thought, Lieutenant Finn.” She winked, and as she walked away (providing no answers to his questions, he might add), Finn had the distinct impression that he had just been tested.

At least he passed, he supposed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of this little ditty, and I really enjoyed writing it (once I figured out how to write Finn). If you liked reading it, please leave a comment and let me know <3 The next installation in this verse is HUGE, all outlined and set, it's my The Last Jedi rewrite-- you're not gonna want to miss it, so keep an eye out!
> 
> Thank you so much for the support! Your comments and encouragement mean a lot! Enjoy!

Time crawled by. The sun climbed over the hangar, baking the duracrete before falling back behind the canopy of trees, silhouetting them against the dusky sky. Finn counted the hours until Black One was _supposed_ to land on the tarmac, periodically checking the Force connection in his chest to ensure that Poe was still alive. That he was still coming home.

He was practically meditating on the feeling of Poe through the Force when the sun went down and the stars started to twinkle, breathing as level as he could make it while the desperation of the moment mounted.

“What is it with you kids and sitting on the ground?”

He blinked open his eyes to see Kes’s shoes on the duracrete beside him, and looked up to see the man’s soft smile and outstretched hand down toward him.

“C’mon—walk with me. We won’t go far, it’s okay.”

Finn fell into step with the man, and for a long moment they walked in silence. The background sounds of the jungle and the bustle of the base in late evening kept Finn alert, ears pricked for the sound of Black One’s engine, but he knew somehow, that if Poe was close, he’d feel it.

It was still such a strange concept, to think he could _know_ things like that—using _The_ _Force_.

Once Poe was home and they got some clear answers from Leia, Finn would have to comm Rey. He’d have to catch her up on so many things—Poe’s time in the medbay, whatever they _were_ now, the feeling of the Force coursing between them, Finn’s insane mood swings and that crying fit and feeling Poe’s pain—

“The General will have more to say about this—she has more experience with it, I guess—but, if you have any questions about what’s happening between you and Poe, I might be able to give you some clarity.”

Finn turned his head to fix the man with a look, brow furrowed “You’re Force Sensitive?”

Kes grinned, and he looked a devastating amount like Poe as he shrugged, eyes sparkling with nostalgia “It’s a minimal type of thing. I have a level of _intuition_ , let’s say, but there’s no lifting rocks or anything like that. To be honest, sometimes it just feels like a little bit of Shara’s grace just got left behind with me. She was very Force Sensitive—and we had a bond in the Force. She could go into my head and curb nightmares,” he shot Finn a pointed look “give encouragement, share battle plans. But it was mostly receiving only for me, until she passed. Ever since, it’s like a part of the link stayed open to give me a little warning when I need it.”

Finn nodded, at a loss for what to say.

“But _you_ … You felt Poe’s pain?”

His side twinged at the memory “Yeah—he’s okay, though. When Leia first asked me, I wasn’t sure, but now I am.”

Kes clapped him on the shoulder, that soft grin still on his face as they neared the tree line at the edge of the hangar. “You’re much stronger with the Force than you understand, Finn. When Shara and I created our bond, it was intentional—she was fully trained in the ways of the Force and I had an explicit understanding of what we were doing.”

“Is that what Poe and I did? Created a bond?” he already knew the answer, he supposed, but the conversation was a distraction from the endless waiting.

The older man fixed him with a look that told him he knew exactly what Finn was up to— _maybe Kes Dameron is a bit stronger with the Force than he understands, too,_ he mused—before he nodded “Leia can tell you more, but I think that’s safe to say. You made a Force Bond with no formal training, no intent to even do so, you just reached out and…”

“Poe feels it, too.”

He huffed a laugh, nodding emphatically “More than that, Poe had to—on a very deep level—consent to it. He had to let you in... Neither of you _knew_ what you were doing, though, that’s what makes this such an anomaly. Leia and I have been debating this for days, but now I think it’s pretty clear.”

The idea of a Force Bond seemed to click into place like the easiest thing in the world—how could it be anything else? Finn remembered the crests and falls and warm vibration of their combined energies when he had comforted Poe in the medbay. He let out a long, slow breath, unsure how to feel about the whole thing.

“Who was right? You or Leia?”

“Is that even a question?” Kes laughed, clapping him on the shoulder “Never pick a fight with General Organa—eventually, you’ll have to admit that she’s right.”

The sounds of D’Qar reigned for a few quiet moments, the two of them walking side by side. It felt grounding—Kes felt grounding to him. It reminded him of something old and impossible, like in another life Finn would have been able to take these types of walks with his own dad.

The thought was pretty benign—thinking about his past and his family didn’t hurt as much as some might assume. It wasn’t as if Finn had any actual memories of them to miss.

He rubbed his chest just under his sternum, reminding himself of Poe’s steady presence, when a thought struck him “Can you make a Force Bond with someone who isn’t Force Sensitive? Or does that mean that he…”

Kes bit the inside of his cheek, contemplating, and opened his mouth to say something—just as a jet-black X Wing roared into the atmosphere overhead, ruffling the canopy as it landed gracefully on Base.

Poe was back.

Black One was truly a mess once Finn could see it properly. The clusters of salt and mineral deposits were caked into every groove of the machine, the wings nearly unbalanced by it all. It was a miracle Poe was able to fly it the thing, let alone land it so well.

When the cockpit was finally shoved open with a crunch of salt and a groan at its hinges, Finn suddenly couldn’t get there fast enough. Poe’s helmet was off, his hair sticking up in all directions, stiff and slightly gray with wind and salt. The second Finn saw him, it was like the Force energy tying them together suddenly snapped, and he was running, unable to stop until they collided. Poe’s arms were solid and strong around Finn’s shoulders, his face buried in the crook of his neck, both of them taking a deep breath for what felt like the first time in days.

They loosened their grips just enough to take each other in, and Poe put a firm hand on the center of his chest to study him—as if he was the one that had been gone for three days, got attacked and got their comm-link cut off, and was several hours late to return. Through the film of salt and dust on Poe’s uniform, Finn could see the blood on his side, his heart jumping into his throat—

“D’you need medical? That felt pretty nasty to me, I can imagine—”

“You _felt_ that?” Poe squinted for a second, out of breath, with his brain still catching up to Finn’s words, before his eyes widened with the realization “Have you been feeling all this crazy shit, too? The weird feelings, and the—” He fisted a hand in the fabric over his chest, and Finn felt like he was soaring.

“Yes—all of it! Every bit of it.”

"Thought I was going nuts." Poe’s grin was dazzling and relieved, spreading from ear to ear on his wind-whipped face. His hair was wild, and his cheeks and nose were a ruddy pink from his days in the salty, corrosive weather of Crait, but his eyes were shining and Finn had _missed_ him-- He looked beautiful enough to take the air right out of his lungs, the channel between their nearly flush chests only getting stronger and brighter as he grinned back.

He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to hold him and never let him go again, and he didn’t care that anyone who bothered to look their way could see it written all over his face. Finn wasn’t going to be ripped away from Poe by anyone in The Resistance, there was no reeducation here.

“ _Commander_.”

An amused voice brought them out of their haze, and they both dragged their gaze away from the other to look over and see Kes and Leia. Kes was beaming, sappy smile so prominent on his face that he couldn’t have hidden it for anything in the galaxy. Leia’s eyes shone with an indescribable softness, and her mouth twisted into its usual little smirk.

“I hate to interrupt, but I urgently need to brief you on some important matters.”

“Can I shower first?” his grin became a grimace, taking one hand from Finn’s shoulder to try to run it through his curls, letting loose a cloud of fine salt crystals. Finn snorted with laughter and Poe punched him in the arm.

Leia broke into a wry smile, her shoulders shaking with a laugh “If I let you two disappear for even a second, I won’t see you again for days—as long as you don’t need medical, you’ll need to come along to my chambers. Both of you.”

“Not that you could separate them at this point.” Kes chimed in, winking and effectively setting Finn’s cheeks on fire with the force of his blush.

* * *

Neither of them could bring themselves to be further apart than they had to be, their shoulders brushing as they walked through the corridors, and nearly sitting on top of each other when they made it to the General’s chambers. Leia observed them with that all-knowing _Force User X Ray Vision_ , her eyes sparkling as she and Kes shared a glance.

“Briefly, let’s start with the mission—the base is intact?”

“Yes, Ma’am. The computers and holos even still work.”

“Planet is empty?”

“Yup.” He popped the p, before his lips pursed with a sour memory “Except for the Vulptices. They’ve got burrows all over the place.”

Leia nodded “And that’s what attacked you?”

Poe shrugged, jostling Finn where he sat beside him “It was just scared—there were only a few of them. Once the windy season’s over, we won’t be in such close quarters. They’ve got sharp little teeth, but-- besides _stealing_ my comm link-- they’re harmless.”

“And your wound?”

“All patched up before I left.”

She fixed him with a penetrating look, scanning over Poe like she was reading him for a lie.

Finn nudged the link between the two of them, sending a calming pulse of energy to Poe’s chaotic undercurrent of adrenaline and exhaustion. He waited for him to relax into his side before he said “He’s not lying, General.”

And he _knew_ it was true.

She grinned at Finn “Then onto more important matters, right Lieutenant?”

Poe’s gaze flicked back and forth between the two of them “So, you can tell whether I’m telling the truth?”

“Yeah—you better keep that in mind.” He teased back, his lips twitching up in a smile.

“ _Gentlemen_ —” Leia cut them off, demanding their attention “I assume you have a lot of questions about the way that you’ve been feeling over the past several days. Finn has expressed this to me, and—if your reaction is anything to go by, Poe—you’ve had a similar experience?”

She phrased it as a question, and Poe nodded, despite her being well aware of the situation.

She nodded back to him, a soft smile tilting her lips “This is called a Force Bond. We believe it was accidentally created when Finn used the Force to soothe away your flashback in the medbay, Poe. This... this is remarkable. I need that to be clear. It took us a long while to come to a decision about the nature of this connection, but when Finn felt your attack, I knew.” Leia sighed, glancing over at Kes, who nodded back to her “This tells us a lot about you both—”

“Wait, wait—That’s impossible.” Poe interrupted, and Finn could feel the wrinkle of confusion rippling along their bond “I’m not Force-Sensitive. To… to have a Force Bond, both people have to be Force-Sensitive. Right?”

There was a beat of silence before Leia turned her head to pointedly look at Kes, who was chewing at the inside of his cheek pensively.

“Dad?”

“Even if you have the tiniest spark of Force-Sensitivity, a Force Bond is possible. The less you have, though, the harder it is to create. I had one with your mother, and I'm barely Force-Sensitive enough to even call it that—you… you’re more Force-Sensitive than we ever let on with you, Poe. It never presented itself in any particularly noticeable ways when you were a kid, because you’ve always had flying as an outlet. Shara made sure of that. We were trying to keep you safe.”

Poe’s jaw hung open, his brow furrowed in realization, before betrayal came flooding through the bond, first a trickle and then all at once—Finn squeezed his hand.

“You never thought maybe I should know?”

“We talked about it—we made the decision when you were small, and after she died, I chose to honor it until you were older. Until you _asked_ , if you ever did.” Kes was holding up his hands in surrender, “We only ever wanted you to be able to choose your own path, Kiddo.”

Poe sucked in a long breath and let it out on a sigh, the feelings writhing along their perpetually open bond getting muddled. Finn closed his eyes and focused on smoothing out the edges of the anger there, while Poe grappled with his thoughts.

“Why… What d’you mean?” his voice faltered, and Kes came closer, leaning against the edge of Leia’s desk.

“We didn’t fight the first rebellion so Luke Skywalker could restart the Jedi or build some fancy school—we fought so you and your generation could be _free_ of the Empire. We didn’t want you being raised under some twisted sense of destiny—we wanted you to do what you liked. Be a kid! Luke…” he glanced over at Leia, who only quirked an eyebrow, as if to say _go on, see what happens_ , “He would try to get us to agree to let him take you, and if he didn’t, he might try to manipulate you into agreeing yourself. You were a little boy!”

“Luke would _never_ intentionally—”

“Your brother is a brave Jedi and a good man, but to call him single-minded would be an understatement and you _know_ it.” He replied, just on the professional side of snapping, before turning back to a much calmer Poe “I don’t think we made a mistake. And look at you now—the best pilot in the galaxy. Son, you did that without anything but your own skill and intuition to thank. Yes, you’re Force-Sensitive—I’m sorry if you feel lied to. We only wanted you to be able to make decisions on your own terms.”

Finally, Poe squeezed Finn’s hand back, even nudging back against his presence in their connection, prompting Finn to blink his eyes open and rejoin the group.

“Okay… Okay, Dad. I understand.” He cleared his throat, nodding as he turned his gaze on Finn, softer. “So, we have a Force Bond, then.”

“What exactly does that mean?” Finn finally opened his mouth to ask, looking to Leia for answers.

“It means, Finn, that you two will have to train to manage this connection. This bond won’t just make the two of you personally closer, but it’ll give you an advantage in battle and on missions. Right now, with no formal training and with the circumstances of your bond’s creation being accidental, it must be overwhelming,” she smiled when they both gave a nod “but these feelings will change as you train. Instead of the pressing need to be physically close, you will always feel close, no matter how far apart you may be. You will be able to speak to each other, telepathically and over great distances, if your bond is strong enough.”

“If one of us is injured, the other will feel it, though.” Finn swallowed a hard lump in his throat “So, if one of us dies…”

“Yes, you’ll feel it.” Leia replied, “Once you’ve trained the bond, though, it will be less visceral. More of a feeling of disturbance than what you experienced this morning—but, the management of feeling each other’s emotions and pain are the most difficult parts of the training, and it may take time.”

Silence fell over the General’s chambers, and Finn chewed his lip, glancing over at Poe.

“Can… Can Force-Bonds be broken?”

The wave of absolute heartbreak that enveloped the link between them nearly choked the breath right out of him, and he looked over at Poe to see him hurt and confused.

“It’s not for me! I… It’s for _you_. I did this to you without giving you a choice in the matter—”

“You didn’t know it was happening either!”

“But, _I_ still did it _to_ _you_.” He emphasized uselessly, struggling to find the right words “I, I _like_ this. I like this more than I probably have any right to, Poe, but I don’t want you to feel trapped.” He held the other man’s’ gaze steadily, refusing to flinch away because Poe had to _know_ he wasn’t lying. “You were the first person to ever give me a choice—you’ve only _ever_ given me choices. I don’t want to lock you into something without giving you one, too.”

Poe stumbled over his words and their bond was a jumble of emotions that Finn couldn’t parse out, turning to Leia again. “Is there a way to break a Force-Bond, if… if he wants to?” he was still gripping Poe’s hand, entirely unwilling to let go and taking solace in the fact that Poe was _still_ gripping him back.

Leia looked tenderly between the two of them, sighing and sharing a complex look with Kes before nodding “Yes. But it isn’t easy and it isn’t fun. Besides, Lieutenant— I think he’s pretty clearly given you his answer.”

There was a nudge into the bond, like Poe had reached right into his chest and cradled the core of Finn’s energy in his grasp. It was simultaneously delicate and jarring, like he was offering everything he was and everything he had to Finn.

Finn-- who had never been anything but a number; who had never had anything to give.

“I’m in this if you are.” Poe said, slow and clear.

His voice strangled, Finn nodded and tried to clear his throat, rasping “Yeah? Yeah, okay. That’s… Yeah.”

Poe grinned, sniffling a little as he broke the spell over the room “So, can I take a shower now? Or did anybody else want to change my perception of the galaxy tonight? I’m Force-Sensitive now, what else am I? Am I also part Gackle Bat, Dad? If you have something else to say, now’s the time. Because I am literally encrusted with salt, and I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in three days—”

“ _Kriff_ , Dameron—you’re dismissed. You’re all dismissed, get out.” Leia rolled her eyes, but they all went their separate ways with a smile.

* * *

Poe’s quarters were the mess that they’d left them in. The blankets were still strewn around from Finn’s nightmare the night before.

Everything seemed set back to rights with Poe back in the space, and Finn released a long, slow breath as he listened to the other man turn on the shower spray in the adjoining fresher. The thrumming connection of their bond was bright and warm, the magnetic pull of the Force calling his feet to move even nearer while Poe was out of sight.

The shower steam billowed out from under the door, and Finn found himself thoughtlessly walking up to knock. At the same time, the door opened and a flood of light illuminated Poe standing just on the other side.

His mouth was open, ready to say something, but the words must’ve died on his lips, because he dissolved into a one of those slow-growing, private smiles. If he was anyone but Poe Dameron, it might be called bashful. Finn hadn’t even bothered to come up with an explanation for standing at the fresher door.

“I don’t want to be alone.” Poe finally said, like it was something secret. Finn reached out and took his hand.

“You don’t have to be.” He replied.

They didn’t have to say anything else. Finn helped Poe remove the last of his stale flight clothes, taking his own shirt off over his head and stripping down until there was nothing left to take off.

Poe pulled him under the spray with him. The stall wasn’t any bigger than a closet, but if he was honest, Finn was just grateful for an excuse to hold the other man flush to his chest. He tilted Poe’s head back and washed the salt from his curls until they were silky and soaked, falling over his forehead. Finn felt his lips on his neck and collar bone and up to his lips, their bond satisfied by the proximity, the combined Force energy between them cresting like waves in a continuous loop. 

His hands wandered down along Poe’s tanned skin, from his chest to his belly to his sides, where the small, bloody teeth marks were scabbed over. Finn swallowed and held Poe a little tighter.

”Stupid Vulptex...” Poe chuckled, but Finn could still see the shadows and feel the stabbing pain that had lanced through them both. 

“I felt that thing bite you. I knew it was gonna happen, too—I had a Force vision, but I didn’t know it. I saw you get attacked, and I felt you—”

“I’m here. I’m still here.” Poe whispered, turning the water off behind him before looking just slightly up to meet Finn’s eyes.

“I know.”

“I’m here, and I’m choosing to stay.”

The reverberating vibration of their bond heightened even more, tying them impossibly closer together, and Finn whimpered into the kiss while Poe guided his shaking hands away from his wound and around his waist instead.

Suddenly, Finn— who had never been _anything_ but a number; who had never had _anything_ to give—had something precious to protect.


End file.
